So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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