i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize