Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
