Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
