absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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