You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
