We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
a search helicopter?!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
