there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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