Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
