Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
