Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
