Jerry, you need to find god
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
