Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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