Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
