I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
