i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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