Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
