If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
