How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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