She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize