You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
