He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
