I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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