if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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