tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
