Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
