I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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