its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize