kristin has been a bad kristin
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
