I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
