I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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