I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
