so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize