Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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