I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Can i not drive my cunt home
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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