He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
