And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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