He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize