OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
