You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
