My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
