dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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