whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
home. puking in laundry basket.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
