YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize