I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
