By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
