dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
