I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
