Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize