And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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