so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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