well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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