absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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