I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
