last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
