Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
